Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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