Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i think i just lost a toe
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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