I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
