And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
