i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
