why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
