And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
