I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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