where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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