he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
