so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
