I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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