Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
