I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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