dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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