dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
