so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
