addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
