I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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