I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
