Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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