I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
