Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
