I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
