My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i now understand why vodka
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
