I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
