Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
