So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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