Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
