My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
