After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he puts the penis in happiness.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
