I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mom said you looked used
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
