you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
