Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
