I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
this will be a night to untag.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
