i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
