There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
they're like a gay fantastic four
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's blow job season.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
