you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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