is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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