i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
