Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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