Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
