I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My pussy is not your playground.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
