fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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