I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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