My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
wow bdsm is so cute
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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