Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
