i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
