I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
