And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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