Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
vagina is talking i cant
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
