Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
