i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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