He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
