Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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